I woke up with one of these ugly cold sores starting on my lip this morning. I’m so thrilled. Had a semi-bad day yesterday and Trubba head butted me right in the spot where I always get them and WHAM-O!! I swear that there’s stages of grief with these things too!
1) Shock & Grief – The initial f*ck and “NOOOOOOO!” (Luke Skywalker style) moment when you feel that familiar tingle and swelling.
2) Pain & Guilt – Pain is self explanatory, but the guilt is a whole other story. I often feel humiliated by these things and afraid to step out into public because of how ashamed they make me feel. And I shouldn’t since so many people suffer from them too, but mine always get so big and give me a duck lip they’re hard to over look. 😦
3) Anger & Bargaining – The “ARRRRGH!! I hate you stupid virus!” followed by “If you go away quickly, I’ll feed you cupcakes…er something.”
4) Depression, Reflection, Loneliness – I hate these things and the cold-sore shaming puts me in an awful mood. I think back to the first time I got one of these awful things, it ended up infected and I was on antibiotics and off work (yeah, they get that crazy with me). And the loneliness is just that I set up a hermit status.
5) The Upward Turn – It comes when the thing finally starts to scab over and shrink.
6) Reconstruction & Working Through – Ha. The reconstruction is as this stupid thing heals and working through is being able to step back out into public and resume my life without feeling everyone is staring at my lip!!
7) Acceptance & Hope – The acceptance that this virus is only remaining dormant and will be there forever, I just need to realize that. Hope comes when it goes away and I can live in denial that it will never happen again. Lol.
So, if any of you need me, I’ll be hermit-ing this thing out in my living room…with the blinds closed.