It’s impossible to go through life unscathed. Nor should you want to. By the hurts we accumulate, we measure both our follies and our accomplishments.
Failure. Disappointment. Embarrassment. It’s funny how I always remember all those negatives, but I never remember the positives. I chose this quote because I’m reading through this novel now, but also because I was trying to determine what career I should pursue with my life. There’s just so many options and nothing really sounds appealing. I’m just so indecisive!!
Should I start up a home business and what would I do? Should I pursue my sudden spark of interest in the sciences? Then what would I do? One of my friends suggested becoming a programmer and working from home, but I even get frustrated with html. I’ve also thought about interning for the LDA I’ve interned for before and beefing up my paralegal skills, but then I’m also interested in accounting and pursuing my love of spreadsheets.
I just don’t know.
And I’m afraid…so deeply afraid…of failure.
What if I pursue any of these paths and I end up hating it? I worked in an industry I hated for 12 years and I’d love for the next career to be something I didn’t dread doing everyday. I don’t need to hop out of bed with a song on my lips like a Disney movie, but I would like to feel like I actually get somewhere with my career everyday and accomplish something. Some appreciation would go a long way too. I would also love for this career path to carry us enough financially that my husband would be able to pursue what he wants to do as well.
So, that’s my Catch-22. I’m afraid to try because I’m afraid of failing. Is that weird?