This month was entirely a blur. I was working far more hours than I’d like (I had asked for 24 and was receiving at least 32-37 a week) which was placing Nibbler at various sitters throughout our city, as well as the surrounding cities, for longer and longer periods of time. With two unpredictable schedules that placed us at work anywhere between 2a to as late as 11p with NO regular days off and up to a six day work week, we found ourselves scrambling every Friday (when our schedules were posted) to find child care for the following week. Eight hour days in the grocery industry are actually nine with an hour lunch and with irregular work schedules a traditional daycare wasn’t going to be a reasonable solution for us. We knew this was a possibility when I returned to work, but we thought we had a reasonable plan lined up — and when that fell through we thought we could still make it work, but it just wasn’t happening.
Here comes the guilty mommy: Yes! I was feeling guilty for having to haul my child here, there, and everywhere without a regular sitter. While Nibbler was becoming very well socialized with plenty of people and children to play with, I could tell it was draining on him and it was emotionally draining on the two of us. I was also beginning to feel like one of those deadbeats that was taking advantage of our friends and while all of them — every single one of our wonderful friends — assured us this wasn’t the case, I couldn’t shake it.
Here’s my nerd moment… When I returned to work in January, I had sat down with our Quicken program and my trusty Excel program and drew up a budget based on my husband’s income solely. It would be tight, but it would be workable. Definitely no exorbitant or frivolous spending,
a lot less next to no eating out (okay, maybe the occasional splurge!), and watching our pennies. Needless to say, at that time we decided against my staying home, but knew we had the option should the need arise. Well, arise it did.
Despite the fact that I really no longer found any fulfillment nor appreciation at my job, I had been there for 12 years. It was hard to walk away and harder knowing that due to contract changes, if I
ever lost my mind and decided to return that I would never make what I was making again. My last day was yesterday and it still hasn’t fully sunk in that I don’t have to go back to work tomorrow….it’s just weird.
Needless to say, the anticipated future for this blog is:
- More frequent entries.
- Month 10 (I’m late, sorry!)
- Possibly some budget related posts.
- Finally finishing that breastfeeding post I’ve been working on for a bit in “drafts.” Heh.