Posted in Life, Pregnancy

Dreams

One of my friends warned me that while I was pregnant I would have some rather vivid dreams.  She was right.  I’ve had dreams of Apocalyptic proportions where my husband and myself are running for our lives and fighting for survival.  I’ve had dreams of our future child.  I’ve had dreams about the dogs.  The other night I had a dream about my great-grandmother and that one really stuck.  Not for the fact that I haven’t dreamed of her for a long time, but because of how vivid it was.  She was the woman who raised me from about the age of 5 because my parents were unable to care for me due to my father losing his job because of his rather hard to manage type I diabetes.

For some reason or another, I’d moved back home because of some ordinance that we suddenly had to return to High School for a year.  I don’t know why we had to move back home, but whatever.  Either way, I was 27 years old and I was getting ready for school at the crack of dawn and trying to find my shoes.  My husband’s sister went to the same High School we did, just 8 years later, and it occurred to me that I could wear my flip-flops (thongs) because they had changed the dress code about them after we had graduated….and I couldn’t find them!!

Of course, like any good and stressful morning before school, my great-grandmother and myself launched into a fight.  I’m not quite sure how it escalated by it ended up like this:

Her: Now, don’t lie to me!  (With knowing/accusatory/omnipotent tone every teen parent has.)

Me: How the hell can I be lying to you?  I’m just trying to find my shoes!!!

Her:  I know you’re lying to me.

Me:  What?!  (Frantically thinking she really does know something)

Her:  You haven’t been donating your change to the homeless at the end of the year!

And that’s when I jerked out of my sleep and was wide awake at 7a in the morning.  That was the most bizarre dream I’ve had in a long time and the irony of it all is that my great-grandmother had no change to donate at all at the end of the year.  After my great-grandfather passed, she raised me on a little over $700/month and she made every penny of it work.  Now as an adult, I can’t even fathom how she made such a little sum work out, but she did it month after month and year after year.  Honestly, I never noticed what we went without until I was in High School, but it really didn’t bother me all that much by that time because I was so used to it.  She was an amazing woman, and although we had some rather strong disagreements before she passed, I also understand that she wasn’t thinking clearly and that her thoughts were coming from a different time period stand point.  She lived through the end of WWI and through WWII, The Great Depression, the Vietnam War, the Korean War… I could go on and on.  She knew what it was to suffer and she truly knew what the “good times” were as well.

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